Since I seem to spend every single holiday by myself, I’ve decided that I’m just not going to recognize any of them anymore.

Thanksgiving? I’ll have a spam sandwich, please. Christmas? Think of the money I’ll save. New Year’s? I don’t like green beans anyway. Valentine’s Day…now just whose bright f***ing idea was that anyway? Easter, Memorial Day…yep, spent those by myself too. That brings us right up to the Fourth of July. No fireworks for me, literally or figuratively.

I think I’ll just try to get caught up at work.