Have not been able to concentrate all day…all I’ve had on my mind is David. I miss him when we’re not together.

I’m probably making something out of nothing, but I feel a little unsettled with some of the things he said Sunday night. Namely, his statement that he didn’t feel like he was as far along in his feelings for me as he ought to be at this point. I didn’t say this at the time, but I should remind him that, in the entire grand scheme of things, we have only been together for six weeks…that’s not even a drop in the bucket of the rest of our lives. I should bear in mind as well that it could be, as the song goes, just the tequila talking.

Of course, before we fell asleep that night he had told me over and over how beautiful I was, that he cared about me and wants the best for me always. And we had certainly made a significant connection a little earlier…even he said that.

I’ve never wanted something to work out so badly, ever. Think I’ll tell him that later.

I love the sound of your voice, and the way you say “Sure.”
I love your skin and your fingers on my face.
I love how my head fits perfectly in the spot between your neck and shoulder.
I love your brown eyes and your wonderful big toothy grin.
I love the way you smell, fresh out of the shower and touched with your cologne.
I love how connected I feel to you, how I trust you and believe you like I never have anyone before.

I love the way you tell me I’m beautiful and make me feel it.

I just love you.

Even though I haven’t said it in words, I think you know…

I think the “new” may be starting to wear off a little…he actually annoyed me a tiny bit earlier. Trouble is, I’m not sure that I should have been annoyed.

He was talking about furniture, getting a dresser or chest for his bedroom. Said he knows of this acution place where you can get good stuff at really great prices. I noted that there is a Rooms-to-Go outlet nearby, and he came back with something to the effect of, I want something good, not made of particleboard.

Now, I’ve shopped and even bought things at the RTG outlet, so I think it may have hit me like he thought he was “too good” to shop there. At any rate, I was rubbed the wrong way and he could tell. I told him that he was responding to “nearly everything I said” with negativity. The moment passed and we stayed on the phone a little while longer, laughing and teasing as usual. We chatted online a little later, and when I apologized for “jumping” on him he didn’t even know what I meant. So, no harm done, obviously.

I wonder, though, if this is not an issue of mine. At some point or another, nearly every man I’ve carried on a relationship with has caused me to feel “shot down,” for lack of a better word…their idea is/was better than mine. That this has happend more than once is more than a coincidence, I think.

Could this be me, my issue entirely? Am I altogether too sensitive? Is it me, or…what?

Good ol’ Jack